Choice vs. Impulse

Recently I had a long conversation with my dear friend Maxine about relationships and the big “aha” we shared was this:

In today’s world of online dating, where there are so many options bombarding us, what puts some a cut above the rest is their ability to pick wisely.

It came to light in our conversation that it is important to be choosy about who to engage with at ALL levels, and that instead of throwing a wide net that might catch a lot of fish it is more valuable to cast out a single line when the conditions are right. Furthermore, it is vital that online daters, like her and I, refrain from the temptation of every piece of bait.

Today my motivational moment is about choice versus impulse, and how exercising choice can lead us more efficiently towards our desired outcomes. For instance, Maxine wants to be with a girl who is edgy, cool, accomplished, and open-hearted. I recently met a girl she has been on and off with, and she’s pretty awesome. Even though there have been some low points in their relationship I can at least vouch for the fact that she is an awesome chick. Maxine made a good choice pursuing her and now they have a friendship that flirts its way along. There may not be a commitment on the horizon, but Maxine has a quality friend out of this relationship. If nothing more… that’s pretty fantastic.

When dating… It is so important that we act from a place of choice, and not a place of impulse because in human to human relationships acting on impulse puts a lot of control and power in the hands of someone else. Choice on the other hand draws us towards our core values and desires, and helps us to maintain personal balance in our lives. It’s through impulse that we get what someone else wants, and through choice that we get what we want. For that reason alone, we must choose wisely.

Peace and Love,



Mexican Mommas Boys

My friend Liz has a bunch of teenage children cause she’s a hoe and this morning I watched her helping one of them with a high school English essay. His name is Twist, he’s black, and he’s lazy as fuck. Twist was complaining “why do I have to do this?” And “that’s extra” telling my friend Liz that she’s doing too much (work). 

Twist is an athlete, and his life is filled with promise. On the field he’s a star but in the classroom he’s weak. The boy has athletic stamina but shows no ability to persevere in academics. While Liz helped him all I could think is that he complains about school work like a Mexican mammas boy! 

Today my motivational moment is about endurance and how athletic teens need to be persistent on and off the field. As I tell many of my clients… you need to act smart to be smart. In this case, being smart is getting your ass in gear and getting work done. 

Endurance should not be reserved only for the field. Well rounded individuals are those who push through obstacals be they physical or academic. They act the part to be the part. Those who don’t will probably remain dependent mommas boys forever.

My advice to all teens… especially the athlete… is to be great in all aspects of life… to not complain… and to always act the part you are preparing to be cast in.