Choice vs. Impulse

Recently I had a long conversation with my dear friend Maxine about relationships and the big “aha” we shared was this:

In today’s world of online dating, where there are so many options bombarding us, what puts some a cut above the rest is their ability to pick wisely.

It came to light in our conversation that it is important to be choosy about who to engage with at ALL levels, and that instead of throwing a wide net that might catch a lot of fish it is more valuable to cast out a single line when the conditions are right. Furthermore, it is vital that online daters, like her and I, refrain from the temptation of every piece of bait.

Today my motivational moment is about choice versus impulse, and how exercising choice can lead us more efficiently towards our desired outcomes. For instance, Maxine wants to be with a girl who is edgy, cool, accomplished, and open-hearted. I recently met a girl she has been on and off with, and she’s pretty awesome. Even though there have been some low points in their relationship I can at least vouch for the fact that she is an awesome chick. Maxine made a good choice pursuing her and now they have a friendship that flirts its way along. There may not be a commitment on the horizon, but Maxine has a quality friend out of this relationship. If nothing more… that’s pretty fantastic.

When dating… It is so important that we act from a place of choice, and not a place of impulse because in human to human relationships acting on impulse puts a lot of control and power in the hands of someone else. Choice on the other hand draws us towards our core values and desires, and helps us to maintain personal balance in our lives. It’s through impulse that we get what someone else wants, and through choice that we get what we want. For that reason alone, we must choose wisely.

Peace and Love,



Student of the year.

“Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.”

– Sean Maguire, from Good Will Hunting

I have a day job that allows me to connect with young people in a deep and meaningful way. One of those people is a girl named Angel. I’m naming her that because she is an angel to me. Angel is a girl from the ghetto. She’s black, she’s being raised by her grandparents, she is in special education. And… she is totally fucking beautiful and amazing. She is one of those people with the power to light up a room. And despite being obviously poor (she often complains of headaches and hunger) whenever Angle has something to share like a box of cookies or a bag of chips… she shares them with others. She is just that kind of good. You don’t get that very often.

Angel and I have crossed paths by the grace of god. She is teaching me so much about kindness, about appreciation for friendship. She is as meant to be in my life right now as I am to be in hers. Tonight my motivational moment is about the crossing of paths. I believe that in life we are not all meant to walk along side one and other forever, but rather that we are put before each other coincidently… and that sometimes that coincidence is divine intervention. Angel and I have crossed paths recently because of forces greater than I can observe, but I do know that they are there working in the background.

In life, we are given so many wonderful opportunities. Some don’t show their worth to us right away, some are hard to recognize. No matter, we are constantly at odds with a left or a right, a black or a white, an up or a down. My advice to us all is to stay attuned to the people and things that cross our paths because good or bad they are all presented to teach us something.